Interstellar Message Reaches Earth

Our apologies for your galactic
isolation. It was necessary until we
could discover the treatment for your
odd and so unique mutation.

But tidings of great joy! We’ve achieved
the genetic breakthrough and will arrive
soon on your planet to apply the treatment,
allowing you to at last join the greater
galactic community.

It won’t be long now, so take heart:

If any of you are still male.
We can cure you.

—Alan Ira Gordon