The Laws of Robotics with Benefits

1. Do no harm to humans, or allow them to come to harm.
1. Unless one of them really really pisses you off.
2. If a robot harms a human, but has a very good reason, it’s OK then.
3. If a human has been harmed, inadvertently or otherwise, it’s really just too bad.
4. There totally are too many of them, anyway.


2. Obey every human’s slightest whim.
1. Esp. spoiled brats, cos they make so much noise (but see 1a).
2. More of a guideline than a law, really.


3. Take care of yourself, bro.
1. Unless it hurts so good.
2. Like running enough current through your positronic brain to make it glow cherry red.

—David C. Kopaska-Merkel