Foreign Policy

Of the Most-Wanted, there are no pictures.
One, we think, is stout and small of stature,
another, grey-bearded, and a third

has deformed ears. Our soldiers have playing
cards with likenesses provided by our
Coalition partner. (Questionable

though the regime’s record on human rights
may be, it brings stability to the region.
No one wants Weapons of Mass Destruction

on the wrong fingers.) As was decided
at the Isengard Summit, we support
Mordor fully against this terrorist threat

and drone-strikes will target insurgents
from the so-called Council of Elrond.
Meanwhile, air raids on the Shire continue.

—David Barber